If you’re so damn tough, Mr. I Don’t Have To Eat Tofu I’m At The Top Of The Food Chain, Ms. You Can Have My Bacon Cheeseburger When You Pry It From My Cold Dead Hands, why does vegetarian and vegan food scare you so damn bad?
I’m serious. I’ve met you. I’ve cooked for you. I’ve prepared plates of vegetarian food for you, in front of your very eyes, while listening to you trash-talk tofu and vegans and anyone who doesn’t eat the way you say you do.
(Except when you’re eating vegetarian whether you know it or not. Like how you scarfed down that whole vegetarian crepe situation I put on your plate with hardly a pause for breath. Yeah, I saw that. Were you thinking about what you had ordered when you started ripping on vegetarianism? Or is it just your bad-mannered reflex?)
I’m not a vegan, although I have been in the past. I’m not a vegetarian either, although I also did some time as an ovo-lacto sort. I eat meat and poultry and game and eggs and fish and I’d eat milk if I could. I wear leather and bone and, for that matter, even some old inherited ivory. I eat meats you probably don’t even dream of eating: ear, tail, thymus gland, brains, stomach. Blood sausage, blood soup. Tongue. Eyeballs. I admit I’m not a big fan of eyeballs. But I will fight you over cheek meat.
So don’t come at me all macho, like if you didn’t eat meat your balls would shrivel up and fall off and that’s why you mock vegetarians. Hell, I’ve eaten testicles. Raw. (Not bad. Better battered and deep-fried, but what isn’t?)
What impresses me even less is that when I’ve talked to you about it, I find out that in general, your type are not even honest meat-eaters. You don’t want to think about the fact that your big manly steak was once a dewy-eyed, gentle herbivore, and that between field and fork there was blood and death and a whole lot of cutting up the body of the dead into convenient portions. Well, here’s what I think about that: I think that if you couldn’t handle slaughtering and butchering the animals you eat you have no goddamn business eating them. You owe your fellow creatures that much dignity. You want to dicksize about your confirmed carnivorehood? Fine. I’ll meet you in the alley behind the kitchen with a couple live chickens and a couple sharp knives. First one to turn out a platter of fried chicken wins.
And let’s not even start about how hungry you’d be if you had to actually hunt your own meat, ‘kay? There’s a reason most hunter-gatherer cultures are, in effect, primarily vegetarian with occasional meat bonanzas. Critters are harder to catch than you think.
What I want to know is this: what scares you so bad about vegetables? Behind all that posturing you do, Mr. Humans Haven’t Evolved For Millions Of Years Just To Eat Soybeans, I smell the reek of fear. I don’t get it. They’re plants.
Is it that you’re scared you’ll fall off the top of the status ladder? Meat is status, no question. As billions of the world’s poor, who are mostly vegetarian by default, know full well. So is what you’re saying that you’re so much better and more important than the majority of the world population that you couldn’t possibly eat the way they do? That it’s beneath you?
Is it that you’re scared you’ll fall off the top of the gender ladder? Meat is coded masculine, no question. So is being a jackass with regard to vegetarianism. It’s chest-thumping. I get it. Trust me, I would not dream of doubting your allegiance to the patriarchy. But I sure do wish you would, and not just because I find your meat-eater self-aggrandizement tiresome.
Is it that you’re just ignorant? There’s a lot more variety in the plants we eat, even with the limited repertoire most Westerners are familiar with, than there is in the animal foods we consume. Maybe you don’t know much about plants and how to make them taste good, whereas any idiot can buy an E. coli-tainted pack of frozen burgers and throw one in a pan or nuke it to a greasy grey microwaved oblivion. Maybe you haven’t had a lot of money to work with and yeah, vegetables do cost money, though generally a whole lot less than meat, but that’s money you might not be able to afford to write off if you get scared because you don’t know how to prepare your vegetables and so they sit in the fridge and rot.
I can give you the benefit of the doubt, the way I usually do, and assume you just don’t know any better. I make up backstories for you people all the time. Every time I encounter another chest-thumping “carnivore” (and you’re an omnivore, by the way, let’s just get that straight — if you don’t believe me, take it up with your cat) I imagine the reasons why. Your mother was a terrible cook and it scarred you for life that all the vegetables you were ever served were the same shade of defeated khaki. You were raised on canned vegetables. You were told so many times that vegetarians all get sick, or become impotent, or anemic, that you can’t bring yourself to eat a carrot.
Whatever it is, get the hell over it. Just let it go. Food is important, yeah, but darlin’, you’re bigger than it is. Or at least you should be.
If you’re scared of vegetarianism because you don’t know any better, educate yourself. Take it as a challenge. Learn to cook a week’s worth of meals without using meat. Learn to cook a week’s worth of meals without using meat, dairy, or eggs.
Learn to cook a week’s worth of meals without using meat, dairy, eggs, or any meat, dairy, or egg substitutes. Just food that happens to be vegan. (There’s lots. I promise.)
I guarantee you that your horizons will widen, you will learn things, and you will find new favorite foods you didn’t expect. That’s an ironclad guarantee from the Department of Done It Myself.
If you’re worried about nutrition, I promise you won’t die of scurvy. If you’re still worried, take a multivitamin. You should anyway.
I also promise you won’t die of protein deficit. Bison and elephants and such are 100% vegetarian and honey, all that protein and minerals that goes into all that muscle and bone comes from somewhere and that somewhere is plants.
If you’re scared of vegetarianism because you think tofu is icky, do some research. Bet you never stopped to think about the fact that people rarely eat the stuff cold out of the little plastic tub. Or that tofu can go bad, and turn sour, and some people don’t know how to check for that and end up eating bad tofu without realizing it. Billions of people eat tofu every day. You may rest assured that they aren’t all gagging it down by the cold, jiggly spoonful. They’re preparing it. In ways that range from the moderately tasty to the downright addictive. I expect you might even be smart enough to figure out what some of them are, if you try.
Seriously, y’all, it’s old, the Mr. Grrr Me Big Meat-Eater Man thing. It’s tired. It’s boring. It’s kind of like people without tattoos getting all upset about people who do have tattoos: ever notice how people who have tattoos never get their knickers in a twist about the fact that other people don’t have them? Don’t be one of those hidebound twits who can’t unclench long enough to let other people’s tastes and habits simply be. It’s annoying and it’s petty and it’s small-minded and it’s provincial and it’s just not cool.
Besides, you know damn well you eat tortilla chips and salsa.
And those, my friend, are vegan.
I like to think of them as a gateway drug.
Happy (slightly belated) Earth Day, y’all. I meant to write this yesterday but better late than never.
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Posted by uberVU - social comments on April 23rd, 2010.
[...] that by every single meal. I cannot count the number of times I have wanted to just blast off and launch into a polemicon healthy diets, on eating, on vitamins, calories and nutrition in general; on supplements and [...]
Posted by Eating Disorders. on April 26th, 2010.
I love this. I love this. I love this. I am a vegan, but respect everyone’s right to eat what they want. What I don’t respect is people that mindlessly consume foods and then get defensive at people who don’t do the same. This post sums up all the things I’ve ever wanted to say to them. Thanks!
Posted by Mandi on April 28th, 2010.
I gutted a deer and ate its heart.
Posted by Hey on April 28th, 2010.
bravo!!
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Posted by isabel on April 28th, 2010.
I agree 100%. I too have been vegan and vegetarian but was before and am now a highly adventurous meat eater. I hate it when people talk mess on vegans though and hate it far more when people won’t eat meat if it looks like it came from the animal (like a leg) or when they can’t stomach killing the animal. People love to sterilize their life experience—some will eat chicken nuggets and beef patties but not legs, rubs etc. because they can’t handle it.
Posted by James Womack on April 28th, 2010.
i. love. you.
Posted by Kailey on April 28th, 2010.
[...] They’re called vegetables. Get over it. (h/t Julia) [...]
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Posted by so many links « Welcome to Flavor Country on April 28th, 2010.
I agree! Fine, you eat meat. But don’t critisise vegetarianism and don’t try to force your [wrong] decisions upon those of us who have decided to give something back to the earth.
Posted by Eddy on April 29th, 2010.
[...] They’re called Vegetables – get over it. – An awesome open-letter written by an omnivore to other omnivores that hate on vegan food. [...]
Posted by Happy Friday! Gluten Free Goodness, Hot Handbags and Ongoing Gratitude « Chic Vegan - A Wonderful Vegan Fashion Blog Featuring Vegan Fashion, Vegan Lifestyle, Eco Fashion, and Vegan Recipes on April 30th, 2010.
You sir are a genius. Thank you for voicing what so many of us think.
Posted by yourbiggestfan on April 30th, 2010.
Thank you, you’re very kind. I feel I ought to note, though, that there seems to be an assumption here that I’m male, which I’m not. You’re welcome to call me Sir if you like, though.
Posted by Hanne Blank on April 30th, 2010.
This was possibly THE most agreeable piece of writing I have ever read. I, myself, am a vegetarian and have struggled with thinking of ways to defend myself to my carnivorous friends who berate me constantly and tell me that “I don’t have a soul” because I don’t eat meat. Thank you for providing me with countless thoughts on what I can say to them in response.
Posted by Hilary on May 1st, 2010.
I’m another former vegetarian who still tries to be conscious of the implications of my diet on other animals and on the planet. Even people like me and the Dalia Lama who are told we must eat meat due to illness can, as he points out, live perfectly well avoiding it on alternate days. Think of the implications of cutting your consumption in half too, if you’re set on eating meat. It’s a big step in the right direction.
Posted by Davy on May 1st, 2010.
Amazing. I’m a vegetarian (not really for moral reasons — health and taste for the most part) who fully approves of hunting and free-range meat, and having dealt with far people like this, I applaud you!
How do eyeballs taste? I’ve never tried one (nor would I want to), but I’m rather curious…
Posted by axionestin10565 on May 1st, 2010.
They don’t taste like much to me, to be honest. They’re really all about the texture, and I suspect also the psychological value of eating an eyeball. Honestly, there are a lot of other organ meats I think are nicer to eat.
Posted by Hanne Blank on May 2nd, 2010.
This is such a great article! I know that soon, everyone will realize there is an amazingly diverse array of dishes and cuisines centered around vegetables & grains that taste amazing! … on top of that, they’re actually much healthier than eating meat! I know that will sound ridiculous to some, but its true. And no – Im not a vegetarian, I love a tasty mid-rare bison filet, and eat sushi on a regular basis. What it all comes down to is that we, as humans, need a diet that encompasses a wide variety of foods to make us strong, healthy, and disease-free.. so all you die-hard meat eaters.. open your eyes a bit and experience all the wonderful food this planet has to offer.. Happy Eating!!
Posted by Will on May 3rd, 2010.
You have just put into words what I have been trying to make people understand for the past three years.
Thankyou.
Posted by Mimi on May 3rd, 2010.
In my defense, I do wish to say that not all meat-eating folk are jerks to vegetarians or vegans. I feel the same way about this as a large number of other topics like religion and political views: as long as you don’t rant about yours, I won’t rant about mine. Casual conversation, on the other hand, is gladly appreciated. Don’t try to force your issues on me and we’ll get along just great.
Also, I agree wholeheartedly with the idea that if you couldn’t stand to butcher it, you shouldn’t be allowed to eat it. (Not word for word what you said, but I’m paraphrasing and feel this phrase adequately mimics without mocking)
On my family’s cranberry farm, we often go for weeks at a time eating only the vegetables out of my father’s garden, lobster mushrooms grown in the wild, venison butchered on the farm, and fish caught and cleaned by us directly from the Pacific Ocean.
Great article and very well written.
Posted by Jordan on May 3rd, 2010.
I’m right there with you on the not all omnivores being jerks tip. Or at least I try hard to be.
I’m now envious of your family’s cranberry farm! Man, that sounds fantastic.
Posted by Hanne Blank on May 3rd, 2010.
Just curious – have you slaughtered and butchered every kind of meat you’ve eaten? If so, were any more difficult than others? I imagine it must be emotionally hard to kill a lamb, though probably a pig or steer is more work to butcher?
Posted by Elle on May 4th, 2010.
Nope, I sure haven’t dealt with every kind of animal I’ve eaten — I’ve eaten alligator, but I certainly haven’t slaughtered one! — but I have slaughtered, or assisted with slaughter, and done dressing and butchering for a few. You’re absolutely right that the larger the animal, the more physically difficult it is to slaughter and process the animal, and the more people and infrastructure are required.
Emotionally, it varies. The hog I assisted with was really hard for me because pigs are smart and quite social. (As smart and sociable as dogs, at a guess.) I’ve actually gone back and forth, over the years, over whether or not I have been willing to eat pork because of that. Goats are also on that spectrum, for me, although less so than pigs.
Lambs, by contrast, weren’t as challenging to me. I tend to form stronger emotional attachments to animals who seem to me to be intelligent and self-aware. Lambs are cute but there’s not really a sense, to me, that there’s anyone in particular at home in those wooly little heads. Ditto rabbits, chickens, turkeys, geese, and fish.
Perhaps oddly, the one relatively common food animal that I absolutely cannot bring myself to kill or eat is octopus. I can’t imagine it. There’s something about the fact that they’re tool-users that makes me feel distinctly that they’re too close to where I stand, cognitively speaking, for me to eat them.
Posted by Hanne Blank on May 4th, 2010.
You come across as very bitter in this post.
Posted by Russ on May 4th, 2010.
he/she may sound bitter because of all the shit that stupid people say to vegans and vegetarians. we are ridiculed and made fun of for our personal dietary choices on a daily basis.
Posted by mandy on May 4th, 2010.
I found this post via StumbleUpon and am so grateful that I read it! You’ve inspired me to add more vegetable variety to my diet. I like your idea about trying out a week of meat-free meals. There are plenty of vegetarian and vegan food blogs out there, so I have no excuse not to! :) Thanks again.
Posted by Abbey on May 5th, 2010.
Hey, you’re welcome! And I do think you’ll have fun experimenting with veg eating. I always really enjoy the reminder of just how broad a spectrum of flavors are out there in the plant world, and how much enjoyment there is to be had in playing with it. Last night I woke up thinking about sweet potatoes, lemon, mint, onion, and cumin. I’m pondering a sweet potato salad now. What do you think?
Posted by Hanne Blank on May 5th, 2010.
Or I may not actually sound bitter at all, Mandy, just angry and frustrated.
It has been my experience as a writer, and also my observation as a historian, that when women (and other culturally less-powerful folks) express anger and frustration and their remarks hit home, some people (most often of a more culturally powerful group) will react to that by self-defensively calling the anger/frustration “bitterness” or perhaps “shrillness” or similar things. It’s a common way to dismiss the arguments of a person one does not wish to have to take seriously, one that many progressives have analyzed and discussed before me.
In the terms of classical rhetoric, it is a type of argumentum ad odium, the fallacy that asserts that one’s dislike or hatred of something constitutes legitimate evidence of the thing’s wrongness or invalidity. If the person expressing their anger can be trivialized and minimized as reactionary or unreasoning by virtue of an unpretty or disdained emotion — “angry black person,” “shrill feminist,” “embittered workers,” “strident activist” — then the person who has been made uncomfortable by hearing or reading the critique can feel justified in dismissing them on the basis of their own emotional reaction to the argument and/or the emotions conveyed along with it.
This is why I don’t worry too much about it when readers make comments like the above. They tell me a lot more about the people who make them than they do anything else.
And in any event, I feel pretty well justified in trusting the opinions of the people who actually know me well when it comes to things like whether or not I am bitter. A random drive-by grumpy dude on the Internet can have all the opinions he wants and set the bar for bitterness as low as he likes. He’s not the sort of source I turn to for those kinds of evaluations… and not the sort of source that anyone should trust for that sort of thing.
Posted by Hanne Blank on May 5th, 2010.
This is amazing. You just put everything I’ve wanted to say in the words I couldn’t find.
Posted by Mary Rose on May 5th, 2010.
You know, I constantly am razed by everyone for being a vegan. I’m seventeen and have lived in a group home just before sixteen. The nutrition in the group home is atrocious with people eating cake and cookies at nine o’clock waking up the next day to a hearty breakfast of (microwave) bacon, hash browns, and sometimes even pancakes in a spray can. I became vegetarian to avoid the low class meat and constantly saturated trans fat soaked dinners. But because this wasn’t enough I became vegan five months ago – and ever since people just razz me about how I am going to die within the next five days of malnutrition. Or friends and co-workers will call me a pansy – because if there’s anything worse than a human choosing to be vegetarian it’s a male who chooses to be vegetarian. Why do I have to be a man by eating meat? When did enjoying salads and tofu require castrating myself? I don’t get this. While my friends (dear as they are) preach about the malnutrition and inefficiency of a vegetarian let alone vegan diet, they eat calorie dense foods and give into temptations of glucose fructose or believe the word “diet” in any soda automatically makes it healthier than the soda that hasn’t had highly processed synthetic sweeteners in it.
People automatically assume that vegetarians are lightweight stringy pieces of flesh thrown on a skeleton. They think meat is essential to being strong – I was the second youngest (just turned 17) to complete a double century (322km, or for Americans 200mi) bicycle race (obviously not of all time, but for one specific race which attracts about 40 to 30 racers a year), when at the time I was a vegetarian. Despite evidence of living a fit and active lifestyle, I find myself undergoing so much heckling from day to day that I have become a ticking time bomb when the topic of nutrition arises.
God forbid, that one of my friends may be reading this now and believe that I do not appreciate them – no I love each one of them with the support they give me that I lack in so many other respects [My parents “gave up” on me by the time I entered highschool (in my opinion) – so once again I cannot express the importance of my friends enough]. If my friends were to read this I am sure that they would say “oh I wasn’t aware that this was such a big thing for you” and of course, in part, my diet is not an automatically big thing for me but when you are razed about it to the point where everyday you get a comment of how you’re a horrible person for trying to live healthy – as if to leave meat you have to be some pompous hipster that decides being a vegan is the “cool” thing to do. Yesterday for lunch I had a delicious salad sauced with homemade balsamic vinaigrette and I get “oh YOU and your healthy lunches” comment from a friend, as if I had just pulled out a sign that read “this is my desperate attempt of gaining attention” NO! I don’t want blatant flattery or mockery either! Equally as annoying are the people who sigh and say “oh I wish I could be a vegan/vegetarian” and when asked if they’ve actually ever tried to be say “oh I could never do that” and if they get past the “I love meat too much” part they say “it takes to much time” and then I tell them it really doesn’t, cooking can be easy! Go buy the 30 Minute Vegan Cookbook or Vegetarianism for Dummies – and now suddenly I’m “gay” because I enjoy cooking healthy food for myself, as opposed to relying on a highly processed dinner.
Am I oversensitive and touchy in this article? Yes. I’m not going to claim that “I don’t care about what you think about my diet” because everyday I resist temptations all around me. I care about my food and care about my body, however I don’t really care if a person views me as a pansy since I’m content with who I am. I would hope that friends would support my choices of food and instead of compliment or criticize them, discuss them. I don’t need praise and nobody needs to be put down, so it is exceedingly refreshing when I can have a conversation about vegetarian/vegan food where people offer tips or ideas. But the people who want to talk are either already vegetarian (which is rare admist all the omnivores) or even rarer actually serious about changing.
And
If there is one thing that bugs me the most, the major thing that skins my apples or broils my broccoli (do you like the nutritionally food related metaphors?) it’s a-holes that decide the best thing to do – is to prevent someone from becoming vegetarian. People who purposely tempt others or say “look what I have” whiling waving a steak as if bait in front of a person trying vegetarianism for the first time. If someone was trying to quite smoking anyone who was like “ohhhhhhh – look at this reliving cigarette” while offering a cigarette would be considered one of the biggest douchebags possible, however if someone says “ohhhhhhh – look at this steak” suddenly it’s okay? And everyone says “but you can’t relate food to cigarettes!?” and sure maybe I shouldn’t be relating how the Meat industry injects hormones and antibiotics into cows while force feeding them corn to build up enormous amounts of dangerous bacteria while standing around in ankle deep pools of manure which then – by safety regulations – require the CAFO (Concentrated Animal Feeding Operation) to avoid sanitary issues by washing the hamburger patties in ammonia before applying preservatives before being encased in air sealed plastic and be shipped to the friendly supermart near you. I should also probably post some statistics regarding vegetarianism and the meat industry, but I see no reason why I should use my time to insert a stat that will be skimmed over only providing more incentive for a “meat-eating man” to show that indeed – despite all these stats – in our modern day society being omnivorous is better. Of course to be fair if some vegetarians/vegans choose not to eat organic food (and unfortunately quite possibly sometimes even if they do) they are eating pesticides – which are no better than the chemicals in meat. This statement is inherently flawed however considering that they just accused a growth amplifier worse than ammonia which kills (unless of course were talking Agent Orange growth stuff) and any grade 2 year old can explain that despite us being at the top of the food chain, the animals we eat, and even the animals they eat, eat plants – and what drives the meat industry? – oh yeah genetically modified corn.
As I near the end of a reader’s patience (I suppose most meat-eaters have given up by now) I will try to wrap things up nicely with two statements of what I believe people want to do and what people need to do.
I work as a guidance councillor at a troubled youth camp and one of the most innocent and beautiful girls I know was anorexic and bulimic (and no she is not beautiful because she is skinny but beautiful because she can do so many great things). Nobody could really talk to her about it, try as they might she kept reverting to defence mechanisms and shutting down before anyone could help. Then I talked to her and she finally could talk to someone who had a notion where she is coming from. It’s so hard to eat a healthy diet when nobody will support your nutritional choices. People want to see a Tragic Hero. They want to see someone try to be healthy and fail – because then they can overlook their faults in addressing their healthiness and laziness. What people need to do is shut the f*ck up about vegetarianism. And yes the f-word was necessary there, not for shock value but to show that I sincerely believe this.
Why do I have the right to bitch and preach about my diet? Because you cannot tell me anything that I will take seriously unless you actually for once try to be vegetarian for at LEAST a week. I ate meat for sixteen years of my life and have been an herbivore for a year and a half – and I can tell you with 100% certainty that I have never felt better since I gave up meat.
For your own sake try it for at least a week,
Brian
P.S. To much ranting in this article, to little praise. You have written something that I could never explain to others without getting overly frustrated first. Your awesome.
Posted by Brian on May 5th, 2010.
While I do eat more meat than is required in my diet, and shy away from vegetables, I can understand where you’re coming from; vegans and vegetarians can be razzed for their dietary choices, and I’m also harassed by my “alternative” friends for mine.
You won’t believe how many times I’ve gotten an “Enjoying your dead animal? How does that cruelty taste?” when I’m just trying to eat my burger in peace. It’s pretty much on both ends of the spectrum.
Posted by Shar on May 5th, 2010.
I applaud you. This was brilliant. The end.
Posted by Sara on May 5th, 2010.
I agree completely. As an omnivore, I do occasionally take heat for eating what I do, as well. Over the years, I have come to a point where I believe the best response, in the moment, is to say “It is rude to criticise other’s food choices while they are trying to enjoy their meal. If you have a point to make, it can wait until after I have finished.”
Because it is rude, and it can wait.
Posted by Hanne Blank on May 6th, 2010.
Brian, [content has been edited due to inappropriate name-calling] If your friends aren’t meeting your expectations perhaps it is because you think so little of them. You have ranted about people who eat meat and made it very clear you think very little of people who do; going so far as to say that you will not take anyone who isn’t a vegetarian seriously. Your friends know this and why would they treat you with respect when you have no respect for them? Your professed appreciation for them in words is quickly trounced by your easy dismissal of their feelings and opinions. Grow up.
Moderator’s Note: This comment was edited because it contained inappropriate name-calling. Criticism is fine if you have something of substance to say, namecalling is not substantive and besides, it’s rude. Fight if you must, but if you don’t fight clean and fair, you won’t fight here.
Posted by Spooky on May 6th, 2010.
Thanks for responding to my question about slaughtering/butchering. I struggle with this dilemma, because I do feel that one shouldn’t eat animals one isn’t personally capable of killing. But the one year I went without meat, I got so extremely run-down, I had to stop. I’m pretty sure I could kill chicken and fish, but personally would have trouble with mammals, especially if I had raised them. So I’m a hypocrite by my own standard.
I take comfort (or rationalization, take your pick ;)) after learning about Temple Grandin’s humane slaughterhouse designs. A recent documentary said half the cattle slaughterhouses in the U.S. now follow her designs? Surprising if true (but great).
Share the concerns about pigs. I went on a field trip in middle school to a slaughterhouse, when our school’s model-farm took our pigs there, and I still can’t get the horrible sights, sounds, and smells out of my mind. Also agree on octopus. As smart as cats, only live for 2-4 years, breed once, and die shortly after? It’s a good thing they’re so rubbery, or they’d probably be extinct.
I’m sorry, this is all a tangent. Totally agree, guys who stake (heh) their manliness on eating meat are ridiculous. :)
Posted by Elle on May 7th, 2010.
You tell ‘em. I’m sorry to say I was ONE of those chest-thumping meat-eaters (perhaps not quite as bad as all that, but close enough) until I discovered I was gluten-intolerant and dairy-intolerant. Neither of those afflictions stop me from eating meat, but they forced me to set food in a larger world of better and more diverse foods – a world whose residents don’t sugar-coat where their meat comes from and the price they pay for it. My stomach still digests muscle tissue on a regular basis, but my chest has gone un-thumped for quite a while.
Posted by Mark H on May 7th, 2010.
Brilliant.
Posted by Mary on May 9th, 2010.
I once had a guy trot out that tired old line, “If we aren’t meant to eat animals, why are they made of meat?” I replied, “If your daughter isn’t meant to be raped, why does she have a vagina?” Yeah, it was harsh, but it shut him up!
Posted by RW on May 17th, 2010.
I usually point out that both human beings and household pets are also made of meat, but we don’t eat them, as a rule. Only people who are starving and desperate eat food solely on the basis of whether or not it is edible. The rest of us pick and choose.
Posted by Hanne Blank on May 17th, 2010.
This made me happy. I live in the middle of Nebraska and you have no idea how much crap I get for being vegetarian!
Posted by Ara on May 22nd, 2010.
Oh Ara honey, you have my empathy. Years ago, when I was in a vegan period, I drove cross-country from Boston to Seattle and upon hitting South Dakota’s eastern border — I’m pretty sure it was SD — there was a huge billboard that read “East to West, Beef is Best!” I shuddered at this, and you know what? I was right.
Every single thing someone tried to feed me in South Dakota had meat on it. Including the salad and the baked potato that I had ordered with fervent pleas that I wanted them totally plain, with nothing extra on them at all. Apparently bits of meat in one’s salad is not extra, it’s just, y’know, salad.
Posted by Hanne Blank on May 22nd, 2010.