02.19.07
Things the Google Elves tell me
Out of curiosity, I pulled up Google’s listing of the most popular search queries that get people to this website (although not necessarily specifically to this blog itself). It’s a curious list, in some ways.
Now that I have the list, I’m also going to try an experiment to see how it affects stats and further search logs. Items from the list are in boldface, my responses are not.
1. virgin stories
I know what you’re looking for and you won’t find it here. You really really won’t. But if you want to buy a whole book about virgins, I wrote one and you can buy it if you’d like.
2. sex stories pdf
Another thing you won’t find here. On the other hand, I have written and edited a few books that contain these kinds of stories. You can buy those too.
3. stretching hymen
Yes, it can be done in some cases, depending on the qualities of the specific hymenal tissue involved (not all hymens are alike). In fact it often is done, completely inadvertently and in some cases totally nonsexually as well, without anyone knowing the difference. Rather unexciting.
4. self filling water dishes
My youngest cat believes that the bathroom sink is a self-filling water dish, and constantly pesters me to turn it on for him.
5. house smells like mildew
Time to start airing it out, drying it out, and scrubbing it out. Check for leaks, too, especially around doors, windows, and the foundation.
6. dishwashing gloves
Highly recommended: I like True Blues.
7. things women put in their vaginas
Tampons, you mean? Or were you talking about the Grand Unified Field Theory? Yeah, we keep that in there too. Just for safekeeping, you know.
8. but somehow with houses entropy seems to happen in bursts i have empathy for houses falling apart i really do for one thing
Happened to James Joyce too.
9. does women at the age of 10 develop hymen
Female human beings develop hymens before they are born. Usually between the 5th and 7th months of gestation. So the answer to the question is no, women at age 10 do not develop hymens, they already have developed them.
10. girl virgin stories
See #1 above.
11. how much fennel do you need to make a full portion
Oh, acres. Vats and barrels and hogsheads. Just stunning amounts. (A full portion of what, exactly?)
12. how much money is needed for housekeeping
How much have you got? It’s possible to spend huge sums on housekeeping, if you are the kind who spends large sums. Alternately you can do it very cheaply indeed, if you are of limited means. The more you are willing to work hard yourself, the less it costs, I have noticed.
13. enjoying housekeeping
It’s all in the mind. There is no way to make scrubbing the floor into a glamorous, sexy, thrill-a-minute occupation, but it can be gratifying and even meditative if you get into the right mindset.
14. housekeeping means
Justify housekeeping ends, or perhaps vice versa. I think.
15. housekeeping routines
Very useful. I’m for them.
16. male hymen
Il n’existe pas. It does not exist. Es existiert nicht.
17. i dislike
Lots of things. Don’t you? When I’m in a really foul mood I can entertain myself just making lists of the things I dislike.
18. free coupon housekeeper
I’m not sure what this is. The grammar is so vague. The adjective could be modifying either of the nouns, but there could also be an implied preposition or two in there, or “coupon” could be being used as an adverb modifying “housekeeper.” It is a conundrum, to be sure. Let me know if you find one, and take a picture, so I can figure this out.
19. how to get a virgin girl for marriage
Meet one, court her sweetly, treat her kindly and thoughtfully, make it clear that you really admire and respect her, and then ask her nicely if perhaps she will consider marrying you. Maybe she will. (I believe this is the usual method.)
20. air freshener advertising
Sorry, I’m all out. House and garden type magazines usually have lots of them, though. Apparently people who care about their houses and gardens are also fond of having their living spaces smell like someone huffing glue at a dimestore perfume counter. I’ve never understood it myself.