01.28.07
Good Morning, This Is Your Complimentary Wake-Up Alarm Kitten
Qiao, the new kitten, is a little too smart for my own good. And possibly his.
The lesson he has evidently drawn from our usual schedule since he has become part of this household is that all monkeys need to be awake and out of the bed by the time it starts to get light out. If dawn has been permitted to advance too much and the monkey or monkeys are still sleeping, it is the duty of the kitten to make sure the monkeys don’t oversleep.
This is clearly best accomplished through a programme of stomping on their heads and chests, attempts to lick and chew on their fingers and forearms, and, should these prove ineffectual because the sleepy monkeys shove their appendages deep under the counterpane, climbing aboard and licking their lips with great vigor. Licking a monkey on the lips with your nasty scratchy little kitten tongue is pretty much un-ignorable and the monkey will wake up right smart. Especially since the monkeys know that for this particular kitten, thorough lickies are a prelude to chewing.
This is why I am now posting a blog entry whilst waiting for the kettle to boil so that I may caffeinate myself and continue the (highly entertaining from the half-grown boycat perspective) job of moving furnishings around the ground floor of the house preparatory to sweeping and mopping all the floors.
Did you know that our sofa is an incubator of cat toys? Apparently they go under there to breed. I am fairly certain I did not purchase this many. As I picked them up I stuffed them in the front pocket of my hoodie, and by the time I had gotten the last of them I had acquired an even more pronouncedly kangaroolike aspect than I normally have (kangaroovian? or, if one is to be Latinate, macropodal? that really doesn’t work, does it? sure they have big feet, but that’s not really the feature we mean to emphasize here, is it?).
I have relocated the jingley balls and fur mouses and such (all humanely) to the catnip bin so they can marinate prior to (re)consumption.
One begins to strongly consider the installation of VelcroTM wallpaper so that troublesome kittens may simply be applied to a convenient surface and kept out of mischief for long enough that one may gratify one’s need for a tiny bit of lie-in on a Sunday…